Benny Hinn the Real Deal

I know a lot of you high fluting social types don’t believe in healing powers but I do. I wouldn’t call myself a religious man but my mamma always was. We was having Sunday lunch at my mamma’s trailer, hamburger helper with all the fixens. My mammas a real good cook, not like my girl Thelma Rose, she can’t cook potpie.
Anyhoo, mamma is a very religious woman, she always gives to those TV preachers. She has sand from the holy land and a napkin Tammy Fay Baker used to clean off her make-up. Her favorite preacher is that Arab guy Benny Hinn. She has a hanky from him he used to wipe sweat off his brow; she got that by being an angel level giver for his TV programs.
So that Sunday after dinner and a six-pack of Bud light I is watching Benny Hinn with my mamma. She felt moved to go kneel in front of the TV and touch the screen so as she could be healed of her gout. My mamma is a big woman so she needed some help getting down there. I was helping her get to the floor when I touched the TV. Well right then and there I felt the healing power of that TV preacher flow through my hands and into my head. It was like I had just swallowed a big mouthful of moonshine! My mouth burned and I fell over and hit my head on the coffee table. When I woke up all my fillings had turned to GOLD!
My mamma said it was a miracle and I guess it is. I don’t know why for sure Benny Hinn would turn my fillings gold; he must have a high purpose for my life. Mamma thinks I should be a preacher now too. I don’t know. Later that night the gold fillings started falling out and now my teeths hurt something awful. Something good still did come from it, we used the gold to buy a new dish so as we can watch more TV shows. Now I can watch all the WWF I want and mamma never misses a Benny Hinn show.